Pleading for a Seven Cycle

At the end of June of this year Outside Magazine held a essay contest for a Seven Cycles Bike. Not that I am worthy of this great machine, but I still put forth my effort. I have yet to discover who won the damn thing, I know I didn't although I certainly believe I deserve it. In a search for the winner I came across several other worthy entrants (Not as good as mine though) and believe you should check them out.

I have shared my entry with many, and all are shocked that I did not win. I am anxiously waiting to discover who the winner is, so I can hunt them down and...um, shake their hands.

So here is my entry. I am also posting the links to other essays I have found on the web.

PS. If anyone from Mariah Media/Outside Magazine reads this, please tell me who won.

Thanks


'Oh the Bike I must have
Apologies to Dr. Seuss
*
There is a guy in Colorado named Ted
His right knee is mush, His left knee near dead
Three years ago Ted could then be called fat
Through running and diet he lost 50 pounds flat
But after running miles and miles he's now peddling a bike
An old Trek Aluminum7000 that's as fast as a trike.

Poor Ted has gained weight
cannot pound ground anymore
His new love is biking
and calisthenics on the floor

Now here I sit at the computer a pounding
Dreaming I'll soon have a bike with “filament wounding”
I am ready to answer 108 questions
about my legs and my trunk and make other suggestions
On how Seven Cycles can make the perfect bike
for riding the plains or the Peak of Pike

The couch has been calling
“Come and watch Sports”
I must stay on the bike
to keep looking great in those shorts

A Seven Cycles bike is a gift from the gods
To be be ridden alone or with cycling squads
With this wondrous beast I will travel Colorado
From Durango, my home town, to the canyon of Eldorado
My fat will melt away with this magical bike
It will enhance my gluts, something my wife won't dislike

I'm stuck with an old beast
I need a new ride
This twenty year old bike
nicks at my pride

I beg you I do, I must win this prize
Think of my children, my wife and my thighs
If I don't get this bike, I'll continue to suffer
when riding I look just like an old duffer
You must understand I need a new bike
My new mantra will be “If I could be like Lance” Apologies to Mike

I'm desperate you see,
Don't mean to be contrite
but if the new bike is not mine
I'll be riding at NIGHT!!!!

Check out these great essays as well:

http://www.dobovedo.com/?p=799

http://idrunkthepunch.blogspot.com/2007/08/literary-attempt-at-winning-seven-cycle.html