What You Leave Behind Matters Most

Last week our family lost a dear and prized family member. My best friend's wife died suddenly at the age of 44. She leaves behind a husband, 9 and 10 year old daughters, a dog, cat, a brother, 2 sisters, 4 nieces, a nephew, and hundreds of friends.

Since Ann's (I will not give her last name for privacy) passing I have obviously been thinking about my own impact on this earth. There are some things that just don't seem as important as them once were. But what is important are the relationships with people that, while I have always prized them, seem even more important and relevant in my life.

In the span of 24 hours after Ann's passed I must have made 50 plus telephone calls on her husband's behalf to tell people of her passing and pass along other important information. This was by far the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. Calling personal friends of mine who knew her husband directly and Ann on the periphery. Or those that knew only her children. The one thing that truly amazed me were the responses. In today's world we forget how compassionate and caring a single human being can be and how when a whole bunch of people respond it can be amazing.

Every person I talked with asked first about the rest of the family, no good answer there, and then what they could do to help. Every single person. Follow-up calls and/or e-mails focused on the family and their immediate needs. As the days moved on towards the memorial service friends and family focused on the needs of the survivors foremost. Each phone call made and received asked first about our friends.

Then it came time for the service, and the true measure of Ann and the influence she and her husband had on those around her.

To be honest I didn't know what to expect. I knew we would have family and close friends in attendance. I knew a few people from Ann's husband's work relationships. But to fill the church with more than 300 people and nearly half of those attending the reception afterwards was mind blowing. It really made an impact on me and it has got me thinking about how many people I will have when my time comes for people to come and remember me.

We have all seen those bumpers sticks “He with the most toys wins” and laughed. I think I may have even had this at one time slapped up in my garage. But now it holds very little meaning to me. Life has nothing to do with toys or anything physical that we collect in our garage, living room, or kitchen . Life has everything to do with the relationships we hold in our hearts and the impact we make on the world around us.

I am the first to admit I have a bunch of stuff and at times I would like more toys. But those things don't stand up for you when “shuffle off this mortal coil.” It is the people that come to celebrate your life that really matter.